BlogDC

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While I was out in beautiful Frederick, MD today, Andrew sent me an ACC basketball preview from the Washington Post, suggesting it might be fun to write about. I got a little light in the heart (I’m already light in the loafers) when I saw from the headline that Maryland was favored to win the conference, even though the gremlin in the back of my mind (whose multiplication from water I control with massive amounts of dehydrating alcohol) told me that there must be some mistake, as I knew Maryland’s team, and had never heard of the UNC freshman touted to be one of the top in the country (since I follow boys HS basketball prospects, that would be kinda weird). Sure enough, the gremlin reared its beautiful shock of white hair and spit the foul odor of women’s college hoops in my face.

Maybe it’s the fact that my woman consistently crushes me in HORSE with her sassy shooting stroke, or because I think the only time the word “fundamental” should be used is either directly following “Reading is…” or directly before “-ly retarded.” Either way, writing about women’s college basketball is surpassed by only one thing in terribleness….writing about women’s pro basketball. It’s not my fault Andrew has to look here for a legitimate Jewish athlete role model (JHWH, she’s unattractive). That being said, I will likely blog about this eventually, and certainly will address the Lady Terps throughout the year.

What I wanted to blog about first and foremost, however, were Etan Thomas’ remarks after his heart surgery (touching title, guys….get it…”HEART?!?!?….like his surgery?!?!?!?”). Not great if you are Ivan Carter, who responds in kind, pretty much outing Etan for being a back-stabbing bastard of a teammate halfway in. After punching Brenda Haywood in the face, Thomas smeared Haywood to Carter, only to have Carter cover up those comments for him….at least until Thomas was a meany pants to Ivan himself. Very mature all the way around.

The Wizards’ season probably could have started smoother…like if Antawn Jamison had killed a few hookers, or Gilbert Arenas had started beating his teammates in three-point competitions by shooting one-footed. Oh well, at least it should be another fun round of “when does Eddie Jordan lose his job?”

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